


Intimacy Requires Humanity

by bornofwrath



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Amanda is mentioned - Freeform, Asexual Character, Asexual Connor, Canon-Typical Violence, Connor struggles w deviancy, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Drunk Hank Anderson, F/M, Good Parent Hank Anderson, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Trust, M/M, Markus/North never happened, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Protective Hank Anderson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-06-26 23:20:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15673332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornofwrath/pseuds/bornofwrath
Summary: Connor doesn't understand love, he doesn't understand intimacy, and he doesn't understand humanity. But he does know that the man at Jimmy's Bar gave him the strongest feeling of software instability since he went deviant.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work takes place awhile after my last fanfic, "No Rest For the Wicked", thought it isn't necessary to read it before this one. Just know that Connor's LED was forcefully removed by a bigot, he's living on his own, and he doesn't wear his RK800 jacket anymore (or at least won't be for awhile, due to the fact that it's soaked in thirium).

 

 

 

 

_**If I asked you now, will you be my prince?** _

_**Will you lay down your armor, and be with me forever?** _

 

**TWO MEN IN LOVE ( THE IRREPRESSIBLE )**

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Connor didn't understand love, he didn't understand intimacy. He didn't understand the appeal of it all. To him, it seemed useless. What did such a confusing, emotionally taxing feeling do to benefit humanity in the slightest? Then again, he didn't understand humanity well either. The only form of love he'd felt during his time as a deviant was for his companion, partner, and father figure, Hank Anderson. But even then, he felt he hadn't truly experienced love, only a deep connection to someone.

 

He pondered this while he stared at Hank in Jimmy's Bar, leaning over the counter while he sat in a stool, listening intently, just in case Hank were to spew something drunkenly offensive that could get him booted out of the bar for a second time. Connor wasn't present when that happened, he wasn't even built, but he knew the story well thanks to office gossip. But for now, Hank seemed stable, commuting back and forth with the female bartender, who was smiling and laughing as Hank stumbled over his words as he spoke, so he relaxed, letting himself enjoy his night off.

 

Suddenly, amongst the mindless chatter, he heard a voice specifically designated towards him, a firm yet confident ' _Hello_ ' directed right at him, and he was almost taken aback by the greeting by the apparent human. Humans didn't talk to Connor much, besides Hank or his co-workers. Of course more people had started mistaking him for human since is LED removal, which he didn't mind, because it also led to him being harassed less and less. And despite the fact that the process of his LED removal was...Less than pleasant, he was enjoying his newfound normalcy.

 

Connor looked over at the man who had greeted him, and quickly scanned his identity and appearance.

 

 

**JESSIE LOCKMAN, 24 YEARS OF AGE**

**CRIMINAL RECORD: NONE**

 

**STRANDS OF DOG HAIR ON FLANNEL COLLAR**

**BREED: GOLDEN RETRIEVER/POODLE MIX**

**(i like dogs)**

 

**MESSY, BROWN HAIR, SLIGHTLY CURLED. NATURAL?**

**STYLE: 'HIPSTER' ( DEFINED BY: HANK ANDERSON )**

 

 

Connor nodded to himself, internally thanking Hank for educating him on the many styles humans found for themselves, obviously in an attempt to help Connor find his own, despite the unsuccessful efforts , Connor kept note of all the styles Hank had described. And this man, Jessie fit the style of 'hipster' very well. "Hey, you okay?" Jessie asked him, obviously noticing Connor's apparent gawking.

 

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine, why?" He questioned, not realizing that human's found it incredibly inappropriate to analyze them before at least buying them a drink first. Jessie chuckled a little, and Connor smiled, though he wasn't really sure why. And then it hit him.

 

 

**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY INCREASED**

 

 

"You zoned out for a minute there," Jessie pointed out, pulling up a stool next to the andoid, tilting his head to the side, tapping the bar, "can you get me and my buddy here a beer?" He asked the bartender. Connor's eyes widened and he lifted a hand, shaking his head at the man behind the bar.

 

"Oh, no thank you. I can't drink." He explained, thinking it was obvious that an android, or anything with such technical and electronic insides couldn't consume anything. Jessie looked, at him, confused, while he waited for his drink, taking it once it was handed to hi, sipping it slowly.

 

"What are you doing at a bar then, if you can't drink?" Jessie asked, though not impolitely, he seemed genuinely curious. Connor pointed over his shoulder, passing a glance at Lieutenant Anderson, who let out a howly laugh with Jeffery Fowler, who was seemingly more intoxicated, and a quick scan proved him right. He'd likely be calling a cab for him too. "Those your friends?" Jessie asked, looking over at the two older men with a laugh.

 

"One of them, I suppose. The other one is my superior.'

 

"Your boss?"

 

"Yes," Connor confirmed, and Jessie nodded, still looking at the two men while Fowler let out a hardy laugh. The two looked at each other and smiled, Connor rolled his eyes, prompting a bit of laughter from Jessie, increasing Connor's software instability.

 

"What do you do?" Jessie asked before sipping his beer. It took Connor every bit of energy to not repeat his programmed monotone reply. Hank had told him, once he officially joined the force, (acing all the tests, of course), that he wasn't tied to Cyberlife anymore, and he didn't have to act like it anymore. He was free. But that didn't make it easy. He was a trained monkey, just getting used to not following commands anymore.

 

"I'm a detective in the Detroit Police Force," he answered, "I specialize in...Android related cases." He replied vaguely, "though I still work on human cases as well, just not as often." He continued, quickly realizing he was rambling. His mouth went agape, and he instinctively scratched the back of his head, "I'm sorry, I'm talking too much." He apologized, but Jessie didn't seem offended in the slightest. He looked intrigued, actually.

 

"Don't apologize," he eased, leaning heavier against the counter with an almost impressed smirk, "I like hearing you talk, you have a very soothing voice..." He trailed off, clearly wanting Connor to introduce himself formally. He smiled.

 

"Connor," He introduced with a nod, Jessie nodded back.

 

"Jessie Lockman," He said, confirming Connor's scan, "pleasure meeting you, Connor." He added, picking up and tipping his beer before taking a longer drink, and Connor couldn't seem to wipe the smile off his face. Connor opened his mouth, about to ask what Jessie did for a living, but there was a crash, and Connor's programmed instincts kicked in. His eyes immediately darted towards the source of the commotion, and he saw Hank, fallen onto the floor of the bar. He quickly analyzed the scene and deduced that an unknown man had hit the Lieutenant. Connor had been so distracted that he hadn't heard the argument that led to the physical attack.

 

Connor abandoned the conversation completely, his programming kicking in for the first time since he awoke all those androids back at the Cyberlife tower, abandoning all consideration for himself to accomplish his current objective:

 

 

_**PROTECT LIEUTENANT ANDERSON** _

 

 

Connor leapt, dodged, and ran past the patrons of Jimmy's Bar before expertly getting in between the two men, pinning the aggressor to the while while he scanned him, fighting against the man's drunken struggles almost effortlessly;

 

 

**SEAN GORDAN, THIRTY SIX YEARS OF AGE**

**CRIMINAL RECORD: MULTIPLE COUNTS OF ASSAULT, DOMESTIC ABUSE,**

**PUBLIC INDECENCY, DRIVING WHILE INTOXICATED.**

 

 

Connor looked over at Hank, who nodded while he leaned, heavily, against the bar, and Connor manhandled him to the ground, ensuring that he would stay down until him and Hank had evacuated the bar. The android helped Hank out of the establishment, already having called a cab through his mental software. The vehicle pulled up and Connor helped the Lieutenant inside, but before he himself could go around to the other side, he heard a familiar voice call out his name,  _"Connor!"_ Jessie called out, his voice echoing through the bright Detroit sky. Connor turned his dead to see him, Jessie, smiling and catching up to him, "dude that was fucking _awesome_!" The man praised, and Connor smiled awkwardly at the slang.

 

"Thank you, Jessie." He said, unsure of what to say, but the man wasn't done.

 

"You handled that guy like a fucking tank! Shit, I wish I recorded it. Do you do that often?" He rambled, leaving Connor a little overwhelmed, but before he could answer, Hank intervened, drunkenly annoyed.

 

"Can you two fuckers do this shit tomorrow? I got fucking punched for fuck sake, I'd like to nap!" He overly cursed, obviously tired. Jessie laughed and looked past Connor and into the cab.

 

"Sorry boss man, I won't keep you boy any longer," he apologized, looking back up at Connor once Hank let out a groan and a gruff, seemingly falling into a drunken sleep. "Listen, if I don't get your number, I'm gonna regret it for the rest of my life," he said, reaching into his pocket. Connor cocked a brow before remembering when Hank taught him about exaggeration. Yes, that's likely what this was. The man handed him his phone, and Connor stared at it, confused. "Gimme your number, man!"

 

"Oh..." Connor's voice trailed, and he looked at Jessie. Did he know not many androids had phones? They could siply call a number with their minds, their programming.

 

Did Jessie not know he was an android?

 

"...I don't have a phone," Connor admitted, but he - for some reason - did not confess he was an android, but he wasn't exactly sure why. Maybe he was afraid of Jessie being anti-android. Sure, he didn't seem like a bigot, but not many bigots did. Or, just maybe, he was afraid Jessie would just simply not see him the same. But how did Jessie see him? He wasn't sure.

 

"Oh, shit, okay, hold on." He said, taking Connor's hand, pulling a marker out of his pocket, pulling off the lid with his teeth, and scribbled a ten digit number on Connor's hand, a phone number, before writing his own name under it.

 

 _"Jessie_ "

 

 Connor smiled at his hand, looking up at Jessie and nodding, "thank you, Jessie."

 

Jessie smiled back, "no problem, Connor."

 

And, as Connor got on the other side of the cab, ducking inside before shutting the door, his head pressed against the cold window as raindrops started to fall and he stared at Jessie's phone number, he realized something...

 

He liked the way Jessie said his name.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor is injured on the job, but it results in him becoming the happiest he's ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jessie isn't in this chapter, but he is mentioned. He'll be in the next one!

 

 

 

 

**_"  he'd trade his guns for love but he's caught in a crossfire._ **

**_and he keeps waking up, but it's not to the sound of birds. "_ **

 

**_( CROSSFIRE - STEPHEN)_ **

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

All night Connor kept replaying the audio from the time at Jimmy's Bar. From Jessie's confident  _'hello'_ to the praise he gave him at the end of the evening. And event though he already had the man's phone number programmed into his head, he couldn't stop staring at the writing in his palm. Hank had pointed it out the next morning, while Connor poured him a cup of coffee, he'd spent the night at the Lieutenant's to ensure his full recovery from his drunken spew, but that also meant he could get a carpool to work, and also endure Hank's questionings.

 

"What kinda shit did I get into last night, Connor?" He asked right before the coffee reached his lips.

 

"You really don't remember?" The deviant teased with a faint smirk, Hank huffed and Connor caught him up on everything with extreme detail, but leaving out the part about Jessie. "In the end I called us a cab and had to - "

 

"Hold the fuck up, you forgot something," Hank cut him off, stopping mid-sip to stop the android, "who the hell is Jessie?" He asked, and for some reason Connor felt his bio-components heat up significantly, but not dangerously.  "I'm 'a detective, kid, remember?" He pointed out, motioning towards the sharpie on Connor's hand, "now...Who is she?"

 

Connor laughed, shaking his head, placing his palms against the table, hiding Jessie's number, "I believe your detective work may require more efforts, Lieutenant." Connor said with a faint wink, getting up off the table and taking Hank's mug, "Jessie is a man, Lieutenant."

 

Hank's eyes widened and he stood up out of his chair, chuckling and shaking his eyes with a smile, "well I'll be damned, kid." He said before going to take a shower, leaving Connor to stare at his hand, debating whether or not to call Jessie. He debated over this for five minutes, standing and staring at the same spot for so long that Sumo started to whine. Suddenly, he got a call. "You good kid?" Hank asked, freshly dressed.

 

"Yes, Lieutenant. There's a known deviant attacker near the neighborhood, it'd be smart for us to - "

 

"Got it, let's go."

 

"I'll forward the route to your cars GPS."

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Turned out, to Hank's liking, that the deviant attacker was already surrendering by the time they arrived, on his knees with his hands on his head while the body of the android laid, dead, not even a foot away from the attacker, her bio-component forcefully removed and crushed. "There's nothing we can do, Connor," Hank said, a gentle hand gripping the young detective's shoulder as he stared into the eyes of the girl.

 

Suddenly, his eyes lit up.

 

"The girl is thirty five seconds from shutting down!" He announced, so quickly that Hank was taken aback, letting go of the boy's shoulder while he started to unbutton his own jacket, "if I replace mine with hers she will likely - "

 

"Son! What the fuck are you doing?!" Hank asked as he watched Connor grip his own bio-component from its placement, Hank tried to pull him away from doing so, but Connor's determination, and android strength, made Hank's efforts fruitless.

 

"What does it look like, Hank?!" Connor snapped back, "now step back, take care of the man."

 

"Connor if this is about - " Connor's eyes glared at the Lieutenant, almost to say _if you bring that up, I'll never forgive you._

 

"This is about _protecting_ and _serving_." He insisted, and Hank's grip loosened, giving Connor ample time to twist and remove his pump regulator and insert it into the victim before him. Immediately his blood stained his shirt and jacket, with some even leaking onto the concrete, along with her's. Connor ignored the blaring sounds his audio processor was giving off to signal danger to focus on making sure the woman in front of him survived. Slowly, weakly, her eyes opened, and Connor smiled thankfully, "hello," he greeted gently, tucking a strand of her thirium soaked hair behind her ear, "don't exert yourself, my name is Connor, I work with the Detroit Police Department, someone is coming to take you to an Android Care Station where you will be taken care of."

 

 _I suppose I'll be taken there too_ , he thought while he glanced at his clock wind down to a measly two minutes.

 

Weakly, Connor set the girl down, letting her be taken away by some officers for transport, while also hearing her mutter out a faint  _thank you_ while he attempted to stand, he smiled and nodded. He turned, watching her leave. He was thankful that she was one of the newer models, any earlier and they would've had completely different regulator. But, in the midst of his thankfulness, he felt his legs start to give out, a look of fear flashing on his face before he collapsed. Right in front of Hank.

 

"Shit!" The Lieutenant spat, running over just in time to catch him in his arms, the weight of the android hitting Hank all at once as he slowly lowered him to the ground, keeping his arms around him, "hold on, hold on son!" He said, trying to keep his voice calm, "I gotcha...Stay awake, okay?"

 

"Hank...'m...Sorry..." Connor slurred, feeling relentlessly for Hank's hand as fear filled his chest, his eyes widening as he realized he was going to die, or more so shut down for the time being, "couldn't...Let her...Die."

 

"Connor you gotta tell me - " Hank started, not wanting to hear anymore of Connor's voice until he was okay.

 

"And-droid Care...Center..." He said, motioning towards the car carrying the once dying android, "parts...Mechanics..."

 

Hank didn't need to hear another word, he picked Connor up and laid him in the backseat of his car, driving directly to the care center.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Markus had built the Android Care Center, and as a result he visited it often, seeing is people be nurtured to health by people who actually have a damn. He was visiting that day too, when Connor was wheeled in on a gurney, Hank being held back at the door. Markus knew exactly where the Lieutenant was, he simply had to follow the string of profanities. "Fuck you! That's my fucking partner, we work together damn it!" He shouted at the receptionist that held him back.

 

"Simon," Markus lifted his hand, taking Simon's arm gently, "let him pass."

 

"Markus, he's unstable!" Markus's lover argued, but he simply shook his head and Simon huffed, letting the Lieutenant go, "please, Lieutenant, Connor is getting the best care he could receive, I assure you - " 

 

"If he dies I swear - " Hank began, but Markus shook his hand, lowering Hank's accusatory pointing finger.

 

"He isn't going to die," Markus assured him, "he simply needs a part replaced and he'll be ready to leave, we can also see that his uniform is cleaned if you'd like." He offered, and Hank's eyebrows perked up, Markus smiled gently, "do you think Connor would appreciate that?"

 

Hank thought back to when Connor lost his LED, how he arrived at his house, bleeding profusely, his uniform looking like it had been plunged into a watertank filled with thirium. He'd tried to clean it, but nothing he had could get the blue blood out of his RK800 uniform, much to Connor's dismay. "Actually, do you think you could clean something else for him?" He asked, and Markus tilted his head to the side, confused.

 

"Like what?" He asked.

 

"Like that stupid RK-Whatever uniform," he requested.

 

"He still wears that?" Markus asked, confused as to why he'd want any ties to the people who'd practically enslaved him.

 

"It's ah...Sentimental thing, I guess. All this change is freakin' him the fuck out." He explained, and Markus turned his back to Hank in thought. The care center ad broken all contact with Cyberlife, deeming themselves as an outside business with no sort of connection, but they did also pride themselves on making their brothers and sisters as comfortable and happy as possible.

 

"Alright," he said, "bring us the uniform, it'll be cleaned and ironed as soon as our staff gets its hands on it."

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Connor awoke slowly in his room, carefully raising his body to prop himself against the pillows he'd been provided. He looked at himself, dressed in something familiar, his jacket. His entire uniform. But something was different, the lapels where his model number and title were had been replaced, a name now brandished across it.

 

**_CONNOR ANDERSON_ **

**_DETROIT POLICE DEPARTMENT_ **

 

He smiled, tears welling up in his eyes as he slowly rose off the bed, his hand instinctively reaching towards his thirium regulator, happy to see that everything was in place. Finally. "Connor!" He heard Hank exclaim, stumbling out of his chair to give his partner a hug. Connor, unsure of what to do at first, stood idle and frozen before hugging back, "thank fuck you're okay."

 

"Hank..My uniform..." His voice trailed off, his voice module still recovering, sounding slightly mechanical.

 

"Oh...I uh, asked them to make a few touch ups," he explained, smoothening his jacket out after he pulled away, adjusting his tie. Connor smiled wiping his tears, "Connor...Are you crying?" He asked, wiping one of the tears off his cheek, "are you hurt?"

 

"No, Hank," Connor assured, wiping his other cheek with the cuff of his jacket, "I seem to be experiencing...An overwhelming amount  of happiness." He confessed, and Hnak let out a deep chuckle before pulling Connor into another hug, and this one the deviant - Connor Anderson - immediately returned.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Simon isn't just a receptionist, he's also sort of a caretaker, he calms Android's on their deathbed (along with the rest of them), but I imagined he'd have the best patience out of all of them to work a front desk.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor feels like he's gonna fucking explode, but it's okay.  
> A certain hipster will help him make sense of things.

 

 

 

**_it's been a long, long time since I've memorized your face  
it's been four hours now since I've wandered through your place._ **

 

**_( sufjan stevens - futile devices )_ **

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Connor was out of commission for about a week, but it only took him three days to feel like he was losing his goddamn mind. He called Hank about three times, blabbering aimlessly about how he thinks he’s going to self destruct, “I need to work, Hank, if I don’t I’ll - “

 

“You’re not gonna fucking self destruct, kid,” Hank assured him over the phone, “no - no not you Jeff, it’s...Hold the fuck on Connor,” Hank dismissed, putting his son-figure on hold while he went to, presumedly, assure Jeffery that he wasn’t cursing him out.

 

“Hank, wait!” Connor exclaimed into the air, given that he had the ability to communicate cellulary through his mind - so to speak - he must have looked rather strange shouting to himself in the middle of the apartment, but he couldn’t care less, he was panicking, and he wasn’t used to this. Connor never panicked, he was made to stay calm, cool, and collected. Even when he was hypothetically  _ dying  _ he wasn’t panicked, because he knew what to do. This was _ just like _ when he became Deviant, that same damn aimless feeling that left him ph so hypothetically hollow. He paced, back and forth, as he waited for Hank to take him off hold, his pump regulator beating rapidly. “Shit…” He whispered before finally hanging up, losing faith that Hank would be coming back. But now he was even more alone, and getting more stressed every moment. “Okay...Okay Connor, calm down…” He coached himself, just like he’d been trained and programmed to do to other people when they acted as erracticaly as he was doing now.

 

He took a deep - albeit unnecessary - breath, attempting to calm his systems before combing through his contacts for someone,  _ anyone _ , to talk to. Someone that would help, someone that would distract him, someone that wouldn't judge him. 

 

_ Markus? No, he’s too busy, doesn’t he have a meeting with the president today? _

 

_ Simon’s busy at the care center, shit! _

 

It was at this point Connor realized he didn’t really have friends, or at least not a lot, and his contact list was embarrassingly short, and then that’s when he found him, his name like that of a savior.  _ Jessie. “Jessie Lockman. Pleasure to meet you, Connor.”  _  His memory of Jessie was photographic, their entire conversation at the bar was recorded in his database, and he’d found himself mindlessly listening to it during his recovery, and though he didn’t know if Jessie would judge him or not, but at this point he was desperate, and something in his Deviant mind told him Jessie wuld calm him.

 

And so he clicked the contact, mindlessly chewing at his falsified skin to tough it tore, exposing his porcelain undertone, thirium dripping - if only for a moment - until he fixed his wound, just in time to hear that careless, calm, questioning “hello?”

 

Connor’s systems almost immediately calmed themselves.

  
  


**SOFTWARE INSTABILITY INCREASED**

  
  
  


His chest burned so hot he thought he really was about to self destruct, but still managed to let out a quiet, almost tired, “hello.” In response. There was a pause, and Connor made sure to double check he clicked the correct contact.

 

“Who is this?” He asked, and Connor’s systems skipped a beat.

 

“Connor!..Connor, it’s Connor. I’m sorry, I should’ve said that to begin with.” He apologized, “it’s Connor, from Jimmy’s Bar.” He explained, and he suddenly heard someone scramble, the sound of bed sheets being thrown.

 

“Holy shit! Yeah, yeah I remember you!” Jessie’s voice peaked, laced with excitement, and Connor felt something in his software flutter, tingle, like a butterfly had invaded his exoskeleton. “I thought you didn’t have a phone?” He asked, still more awake than when he answered. Shit, that’s right, Jessie didn’t know he was an android.

 

“I...Got one,” he lied, the everlasting fear of Jessie being an android hater still lingered inside Connor’s systems. He  _ knew  _ he should tell him, but the fear of losing this, - whatever  _ this  _ was - was too great, he couldn’t risk losing it all. “I made the decision to buy one.” He prefaced, and he could hear a faint, breathless laugh on the other end.

 

“Did you...Did you get a phone for me, Connor?” He asked, and Connor felt like he could see the smile on his face, as if the almost-stranger was standing in front of him, “because that’s super fucking cool if you did.”

 

“Something like that,” he said with a shrug, “I just...Needed to talk to someone.” He finally said, walking up to his fishtak, staring at the swimming sea creatures, and he felt envious of their carelessness.

 

“Is everything okay?” Jessie asked almost immediately, his tone hadn’t faltered, but Connor felt a slight shift, like he was...Worried.

 

“Yes, yes,” Connor assured him quickly, not wanting to worry him, “I just...I think I’m feeling restless.” He said, “Like I’m going to explode.” The line went quiet, but Connor knew he was still on the other end. He could hear him thinking, moving. The shake of a belt, the jingle of a dog collar, “hello?”

 

“Where do you live, Connor?” He asked calmly, his tone suddenly more serious.

 

“Why?”

 

“I want to come see you,” he announced, and Connor stomach churned, the idea of seeing Jessie in person was utterly terrifying at the moment, a nameless fear that he wasn’t quite ready to confront, “is that okay?”

 

He’d have to change, be out of this uniform he’d been wearing, change into one of the few casual attires he had, could he do that? Could he keep up this lie? The nameless fear was suddenly becoming more apparent.

 

He didn’t want Jessie to know who he was, who he  _ really  _ was. Who he was before this, how he’d fallen off a roof to save a girl he felt nothing for, how he’d become to violent towards androids he didn’t even  _ know  _ to the point where they almost killed him.

 

He didn’t want Jessie to know who he was, he didn’t want him to know RK800.

 

But he knew, eventually, he’d have to bite this metaphorical bullet.

 

But not today, today he’d bury RK800, the android who’d gone Deviant despite his superior programming. Today he’d be Connor, the human, the man, with no history.

 

He’d be who he needed to be, he’d be  _ human. _

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


He changed quickly, throwing on a black shirt, jeans, and his Detroit Police Department sweatshirt, burying his uniform in its entirety under his bed, a pit of sadness filling him, he’d just gotten that back...And now he was losing it.

 

Was this really worth it? All for one man? Why didn’t he just tell him, damn it!? What was so hard about just saying  _ I’m an Android _ ?!

 

_ I’m an Android. _

_ I’m an Android! _

_ I’M AN ANDROI - _

 

Suddenly, the doorbell buzzed, faint, almost unheard through Connor’s mental scoldings, but still there. He jumped up off the floor, immediately going to the front door, checking the peephole, scanning Jessie’s blurred silhouette through it.

 

**JESSIE LOCKMAN, 24 YEARS OF AGE**

**CRIMINAL RECORD: NONE**

 

Just like before. Good to know he hadn’t done anything horrible in the week he hadn’t seen him. He opened the door, greeted by that intoxicating smile, the familiar hipster style he knew just how to rock. A band shirt that Connor didn’t know existed, a jean jacket, jeans, and a cute beanie that hid his even cuter curls, which Connor could still see poking out. “Hello,” he greeted.

 

“Hello, Connor,” that was something that hadn’t changed every single time they spoke, that fond  _ Hello  _ Connor was coming to love, “still feel like you’re gonna explode?”

 

“Not entirely,” He said, and the two stood awkwardly for a moment, Connor nor having a single clue what to do next.

 

“Can I come in?” He asked with a small smile, looking over Connor’s shoulder into his apartment, obviously intrigued on how he’d decorated his living space, “looks cozy in there.” That was an overstatement, Connor’s place wasn’t nearly as decorated as most people’s. He still wasn’t used to living on his own - or living for that matter - and decorating surely was something he was confused by. He currently didn’t see the point, but he was getting there.

 

“Yeah..Yeah! Sorry,” Connor stammered, zoning out in Jessie’s eyes before he got back to his senses and opened the door, shutting it behind him once the two were safe inside. He watched as Jessie seemingly scanned his apartment, running his fingers along the wall, pulling his beanie off, his curls springing out from underneath, and a smile twinged at Connor’s lips as he watched Jessie take his first few steps inside his apartment. “It’s...Small.”

 

“It’s nice,” he assured him with a smile as he glanced over his shoulder, just missing Connor’s sheepish grin. The two walked to the middle of the apartment, Jessie still looking around Connor’s apartment, while the android stood, frozen-like, in his own home. “Not much of a decorator, huh?”

 

“No.” Connor shook his head as he and Jessie sat o the couch. He’d tried to decorate, even let Hank have a knack at it, but both efforts only had one painting, a bookshelf, fish tank, and a bedroom to show for it.

 

“So...Why do you feel like you’re gonna explode?” Jessie finally asked, leaning back on the couch, while Connor still stood up straight, hands folded neatly in his lap.

 

“Work,” he started, “I’ve been away from work for three days and I feel like if I don’t get back to work I’ll explode.” He was fidgeting horribly, trying to find something to do with his hands to keep himself occupied.

 

Jessie smiled, sitting up with a small, gentle laugh. “Con, most people would kill for a day off, let alone three, why don’t you enjoy it?”

 

‘“How?”

 

Jessie shrugged, “what do you do for fun?”

 

Connor paused, staring at his hands as he tried to think about the last time he had fun, but instead his programming kept forcing the definition in his face, no personal examples. He thought about lying, but couldn’t force himself to do it. “I...Don’t know.”

 

Jessie tilted his head to the side in confusion, looking around the apartment, then back at Connor, “Really?” God, Connor felt like he was going to cry, this was all too much. Too much uncertainty, too much undirection, he felt lost - hopeless, even. “Alright,” Jessie piped up, sitting up off the couch and putting his hat on. Connor watched him, confused as Jessie held out his hand to him.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Let’s go have fun.”

 

Connor hesitated, but eventually gave in, taking Jessie’s hand and standing up, and the two started out of the apartment. Before they walked out, Connor glanced into his home, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth when he realized…

 

He felt excited. Maybe even...Human.

**Author's Note:**

> Just an FYI, I totally imagine Jessie as Matthew Daddario ;)


End file.
